Give Yourself Permission: How I’m Learning to Live Fully (and Helping You Do the Same)
Welcome to Unpacked.
I suppose intros are in order. My name is Patrick Shaw and whether you know me personally, know of me to some degree, or this is your first (of hopefully many) encounters with me on this platform — I’m glad you’re here!
Speaking of intros…a few years ago, I had this really fun, intense, creative, chaotic, freeing job. One aspect of that job was auditioning people to find the right person for the right role. We were seeking personalities and party-starters — people who are charismatic, outgoing, magnetic. Part of the casting criteria was, “Do we (the auditioners) want to hang out with you (the talent)?” And only those we answered “yes” to were in the running for the gig.
We’d do these auditions in phases and we’d start with big groups. This phase was all about first impressions, vibe, and weeding out any “posers” or “duds.” We’d give a quick prompt: “What’s your name? Which role do you resonate with most, and why? How do you break your routine? What’s at the top of your experience bucket list?” Then we’d do a lightning round around the circle to get to know everyone a little bit. It was meant to be fun, brief, and energizing.
This told us several things — a little about the person through their eyes; how they introduce themselves to a group of strangers; can they follow directions, be short and sweet, and improv a bit on the spot? And perhaps most importantly: do they feel authentic?
I would even go first to set the stage:
“Hi, my name is Patrick and I identify the most with The Foodie because I think one of life’s greatest joys is sitting around a table with friends or strangers and sharing good food. Food is culture and good food is transformative — spiritual, even. When I’m feeling life is too ‘same same’ or I’m stuck on repeat, I break my routine by going out to a bar or club on a night I normally wouldn’t and I ‘eye fuck’ everyone. And the top experience on my bucket list right now is to go on an Ayahuasca retret in Peru and visit Machu Picchu.”
My answer was both authentic and deliberately worded — a signal that nothing was off limits. I mean, I was talking about “eye fucking” and doing psychedelics in the same breath…you have permission to be you.
I tell this anecdote for a few reasons:
I’m giving myself permission to be unapologetically me in this space — I owe that to myself at the very least.
I want you to get to know the authentic me.
And I want to give you permission to live your life to its fullest.
Side note: I was also surprised by some of the responses we’d get in the circle. Namely, when people would tell us “they don’t have a routine to break” or that their life was “too unpredictable to be routine, so I don’t really do anything to shake it up” — they were bullshitting. You mean to tell me that your daily life is so fucking interesting that you never feel like stepping out of it? Doing something different? Infusing a different energy into your life to make it more exciting?
Bull. Shit.
We all need a shake-up sometimes.
Let’s promise each other something — if we need a shake-up in life, let’s be honest with each other about it and help each other through it.
You see, if I’m being honest, this blog is part of the answer to a goal I’ve sat with for a long time. A bit of a shake-up, if you will.
What goal is that, you ask?
You’re gonna laugh when I tell you…
I mean, maybe you won’t laugh, but you might roll your eyes. It’s silly.
Okay…I’ll tell you.
(takes a deep breath)
I want to change the world and make it a better place.
…
See, I told you you’d laugh or roll your eyes...
Look, years ago, when I was a musical theater performer, I thought I wanted to make a name for myself, then use my platform and money from my illustrious career to affect positive change in the world. The problem was, at that age, I didn’t know enough about myself — let alone the world — to know what change I wanted to affect.
(It also turns out, I wasn’t willing to sacrifice my quality of life for that particular dream of being a musical theater star — not in the way the industry demanded. But that’s another story for another time.)
Still, even after sitting with that idea of “changing the world,” losing sight of it, living some life, grappling with self-evolution, and coming back to it…it’s still there and still tugs at my heart. Just in a different way.
This brings me back to my third reason for telling that audition story. Because now, when I say I want to “change the world,” what I really mean is this:
“I want to live life courageously, fully, and richly…and I want to inspire others to do the same.”
When you’re living a full, rich life — when you’re leading with true curiosity and openness, allowing for wonder to come in — you’re making your life and the lives of those around you better.
And that’s changing the world, isn’t it?
If you already do live a full life — if you’ve asked yourself, “What does full mean to me?” — I hope you’ll stick around and swap stories with me. Because I know that answer is different for everyone. And hey, maybe we’ll inspire each other to live more fully in new ways!
If you aren’t living fully — if you haven’t asked that question of yourself, or you feel stuck, tired of the routine, or just curious and haven’t acted yet — I hope this space inspires you. I’ll do my best to offer stories, guidance, and perspective… but you have to give yourself permission.
A lot of these writings will be travel-inspired, experience-based, and likely deeply personal (read: *gay* 🌈🕺🏽💅🏼). Along the way, I’ll be sharing life lessons, travel tips & recommendations, and fun(ny) anecdotes. And I genuinely welcome comments and interaction — this is about community, after all. As we get to know each other, I hope we can foster respectful discourse and build a robust community of seekers, “rich life” livers, and cultural evolutionaries.
All are welcome. And I hope you enjoy your time here.
But what I need you to know — and take away from this space — is that the world is out there. It’s not here. Take inspiration from here, but go live out there.
Time is no guarantee. Getting old is no guarantee. And sitting somewhere on the middle of my own life timeline, I can tell you: life is fucking short. Don’t wait until you’re “older,” “wealthier,” “retired,” or “settled” to explore, reinvent, or truly live. There are no milestones you have to hit in life before you can do something…
There’s only you, giving yourself permission to try.
So this is my “call to action” to you:
Give yourself permission to live fully.
And I’ll see you next time. xx
